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The girl who missed the chance

My own Winter Star

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Lilypie Baby Ticker

Lilypie Baby Ticker

"Tomorrow will come. The pain will ease. But you will never forget your precious child. It takes hope and time and love for the healing to take place. Remember along the way to accept, but not forget"

"They feel you don't have memories. That is what it comes down to. That is why people give you a time limit (on grief). They think what memories could you possibly have? If the baby lived five years, then you grieve more because you have five years of memories. What they forget is you were planning the memories. You were planning the Baptism, the first word the baby would say. That is what the pregnancy is...planning"

When I have a baby I want to paint an Elmer The Elephant mural on the wall of the baby's room. And I want to make an Elmer The Elephant patchwork quilt for the baby too. I'll have a shelf in the baby's room with all the tiny shoes I have bought over the years lined up. All these things will be waiting for the baby. But none of these things will have been waiting for as long as all the love I have to give to that child.

One day I will mother a child that I can hold.